Fear

This one is by Raymond Carver, with my revisions.

Fear of seeing a police car pull into the drive.
Fear of falling asleep at night.
Fear of not falling asleep.

Fear of the present taking flight.
Fear of looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself.
Fear of running out of money.
Fear of having too much, though people will not believe this.
Fear of being late and fear of arriving before anyone else.

Fear of my mother dying before I do.
Fear of me dying before my mother.
Fear this day will end on an unhappy note.
Fear tomorrow will start with an unhappy note.

Fear of waking up to find you gone.
Fear of dreaming you are still here.
Fear of not loving and fear of not loving enough.
Fear that what I love will prove lethal to those I love.

Fear of death.
Fear of living too long.
Fear of death.

I've said that.